Pres wanted to go see Sofia's sister, Thalia, to get Sofia's new address and phone number as soon as possible. She worked long hours at the supermarket, but he knew she usually had Sundays off and when she did she gussied up and went to bingo in the afternoon with Jerri Rasmus, her roommate. He'd have to go the next Sunday, and get there before noon if he wanted to be sure she was there.
In the meantime his parents had arrived from Atlanta and were staying a couple days with him. He'd planned to introduce Arlene to them at this time but, of course, that was not going to happen now.
He'd recently rented a little 2-bedroom, 2-bath house on the outskirts of Pleasantview and was squirreling away money to buy his own place in the near future. At least he now had room for his parents to bunk with him--there was no way he would have brought them to the dump he'd lived in at the downtown area of Crystal Creek.
He invited Parker over and they both enjoyed some time with their parents, playing a little poker in Pres's "game" room. All four of her sons (and her husband) worshiped their beautiful and loving mother. Rhonda never seemed to age, at least in their eyes. She also happened to be an ace at poker and Parker, Pres and their dad kept losing to her. The only one who ever beat her often was Perry.
Pres made supper but Rhonda insisted on doing the cleanup. Of course, his parents had noticed Pres's haircut right away. Not knowing of his undercover work, they believed he'd quit his job as a detective and worked in a garage.
"Oh, sweetie, you look so handsome now--"
"At least he cut his damn hair," Philip muttered.
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you I'm back on the force now," Pres exclaimed, eventually he'd tell them both why he'd been living that way for three years, but not during this visit, "The long hair had to go."
Rhonda just smiled at Pres,
"Definitely handsome, but then all my sons are gorgeous. Aren't I the lucky one?"
"Now this one should get rid of his shaggy look," Philip gestured toward Parker.
"Hey, at least it's not down past my shoulders!" Parker complained indignantly but then softened as he looked at his mother. He turned to his father,
"I guess it wouldn't hurt to kind of trim it up. Maybe I'll check out that new place in Bluewater, try to get a more professional look."
Philip nodded. He could be stern but he always backed his boys up in the end. There was no mistaking that Philip Everhart was the father of Pres and Parker--the same for Perry and Prince. Physically, though, Prince was the son who looked the most like him and who had inherited his wild streak. Perry had his confidence and Rhonda's love for children and quiet intensity, Pres was more like his mother, soft-spoken but not to be trifled with and Parker, the happy-go-lucky baby of the family, and several years younger than the other boys, was a complete puzzle to the whole family. He'd been a joyful and engaging child, spoiled by all, but sometime during college he became a little aimless and irresponsible. He didn't seem to favor one parent over the other in characteristics, the only exception being the artistic streak he'd inherited from Rhonda.
When Philip and Rhonda moved on to stay with Perry for a few days Pres went to see Thalia. He was sure she knew where Sofia had gone. Thalia was not pleased to see him. She still called him Ray so Sofia had evidently not said anything to her about his real name and job.
"Whoa! So you cut your hair--trying to be all respectable now are we?" Thalia scoffed.
Ray ignored that and told her that he wanted to find Sofia because he needed to be there for her.
She replied,
"You're too late, buster. She doesn't need you, she has someone to help her. And he's not seeing two women at the same time they way you are. Yes, I know about that goody two-shoes you're seeing; I saw her with you a month ago at the movies in Bluewater. Talk about a dirty trick, Ray--you have all your nerve coming here to ask about my sister and claiming 'you want to be there for her'. It makes me--"
"It's not quite the way you think," Pres interrupted her hurriedly, "And I'm no longer seeing Arlene. If you--"
"Oh, man, what a teetotal creep you are. So you dropped the little virgin and now you're looking for Sofia! Well, she already guessed a while ago there was someone else. And she knows for sure now on account of I told her what I saw. She wouldn't say it, but it broke her heart. You are so out of luck."
"So I take it you won't tell me where she is or give me her new cell number?" Pres was grim. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jerri lurking in the kitchen.
"No way, Jose. She's trying to get over you; she made me promise not to tell you anything. You know, Ray I used to like you a lot; now you make me sick."
Pres ignored the insult. Truthfully he didn't give a flip how Thalia thought of him except she was the only path he had to Sofia at this point. He held out a slip of paper with something written on it, his face impassive.
"When you see her will you please tell her that I'm sorry for any pain I caused? Tell her I'm not seeing anyone and if she ever wants to talk--about anything--here's my cell number and my new address."
"Ha! Fat chance!" she crossed her arms on her chest and let the paper fall to the floor.
Of course, Thalia didn't offer the information that, in truth, Sofia was not angry with Pres at all. She'd known all along there had to be someone else and she wanted him to be happy. She didn't want him to know where she was because she was pregnant. He was a nice guy, she had told Thalia, and she didn't want him to stay with her out of guilt or a misguided sense of duty. Sofia took all responsibility for her actions; she had made a conscious decision to have his child. Pres didn't owe her anything. In fact, she figured she could never repay everything he'd done for her in the past. No, Thalia was not going to tell Pres any of that--it might make him keep trying to see Sofia. Besides, she'd given her word to her sister.
Hating himself, but unable to keep from doing it, Pres asked,
"This guy who's helping her--is she in love with him? Is he living with her?"
"That is so none of your business. Now hit the road, loser!"
Feeling like the loser Thalia said he was Pres drove on home. Sofia was gone. She was lost to him and he told himself he had to accept that fact. Obviously she no longer wanted him. Guilt flooded him as he thought about the lies he'd had to tell her for three years. He'd done it for his job; at least that's what he'd told himself. In the end he'd screwed it all up. He'd let the department down; now someone else was going be forced to go undercover so they could try to close the case. He'd let Sofia down, hurting her and losing her love. He'd let Arlene down by making her think he was another kind of man. Everything was fubar.
Pres now changed his mind; he wanted danger in his life again. He wanted to get Sofia and all his mistakes off his mind, but he also wanted action. Instead of going back to the dangerous but mostly passive undercover work, he qualified for the swat team which offered not only danger but plenty of action. Even though it was hazardous work that was fine with him now. He was in pain and he was bitter, he wanted to shut off his emotions. And if he was on the swat team he could still live in the decent house he was renting. He worked long hours. He wanted to forget.
Pres missed Sofia so much; filled with desire and longing he tossed restlessly in his bed at night remembering her and the times they'd spent together. Seeing her precious face and amazing body in his head he thought how she was always so understanding, so comforting and upbeat. Why hadn't he appreciated her more when he had her?
Amazingly he did not have the same problem with Arlene. She seldom came up in his mind and that he didn't understand; after all he'd been poised to propose marriage to her. In the end he concluded that she'd never known the real him and it was a sad fact that he'd never really known the real Arlene.
When he thought of his Sofia, guilt and regret plagued him and heartache was close behind. What was worse, he believed he deserved the pain and loneliness. So he worked himself harder than ever and despaired of ever seeing Sofia again. Yep, everything had ended up totally fubar.
Pres had been unable to get in touch with Sofia for 36 hours and that was not right as far as he was concerned. Her cell was not responding. She always answered his calls so it was damned peculiar; almost like she was avoiding him. He was getting worried. He hadn't seen her in a week and never went that long, but he'd been trying to ween himself away from her. It was harder than he'd thought it would be and now he couldn't get a hold of her. Not good.
Perry had come over for supper and after hearing Pres worry out loud for a while he asked him,
"So, all things considered, what are you going to do about Arlene now that you've finally realized it's Sofia you love?"
"I didn't say that I love Sofia. But about Arlene I don't know. She expects me to propose. She's a wonderful person. Naive for her age, it's true, but then she's been very sheltered her whole life. At least until she met me. Now I can finally be the man she can have a future with; Pres Everhart instead of Ray Nolan.
It's just that, Sofia is so vulnerable, so sweet and I've kind of been looking out for her for three years. It's hard to walk away. Oh, damn, the truth is, I'm used to seeing her and I miss her a lot. I'm going to see Arlene tomorrow around 5 pm and then I've decided I'm going by Sofia's place and check on her, whether she wants to see me or not. I'm thinking I can ask Dana to kind of take her under his wing. He helped me out before with Lenny the creep and he lives in the trailer right next to hers."
"You sure that's a good idea?" Perry looked skeptical, "To sic a healthy, combustible adult male on the beauteous and kindhearted Sofia and expect nothing to happen? Kind of like the Red Riding Hood story if you ask me."
Pres sighed, not meeting Perry's eyes,
"Once I know Sofia will be taken care of I'm going to ask Arlene to marry me. I guess I owe her that much; I feel bad about lying to her for so long."
Perry snorted,
"Let me get this--you owe Arlene a proposal of marriage? I assume you then mean to follow through and marry her and stay by her side the rest of her life? All because she expects it and it's supposedly your duty now? I can't believe I'm hearing this. What a bunch of bull. Little brother, you can't marry a woman because you feel responsible for her unless you also love her."
Pres's eyes flashed fire at his brother,
"I do love Arlene!"
Then his anger fled,
"At least I thought I did. I've been seeing her for months now, I was convinced we should be together. That's one of the reasons I gave up undercover work; to be suitable as husband material for a girl like her. Perry, I have to do the right thing, whether you want me to or not."
"The right thing for...who?" Perry asked, "I suggest you go over to Sofia's place before you go see Arlene. End the relationship with Sofia--if you can. Don't go see Arlene until you've talked to Sofia one last time. If you can walk away from the woman you really love you're stronger than me, kid."
"I never said I love her."
"Give me a break, will ya? Sofia has always been a favorite subject of yours, but
you really haven't shut up about her now in several weeks, and it's been
worse the last couple days. Just this side of obsession. But you go ahead; you lie to
yourself if you must. But when you're married to the wrong woman some day, don't come crying and belly-aching to me."
When Perry left Pres heeded his advice and headed over to Sofia's trailer. To his chagrin it was obvious that she didn't live there anymore; no curtains at the windows and when he peeked in through one of those windows the place was completely bare. Suddenly he felt empty; he'd never not known where she was since he met her. And he was more worried than ever about her circumstances. He looked to his left at Dana Conadera's trailer thinking he might get answers there, but it was empty too. So much for asking him to take care of Sofia.
As he drove to Lalique's house to see Arlene his mind began to consider where Sofia could have gone--she didn't have much money.
When he arrived at her house in Bluewater Lalique had taken her two oldest kids to the park and only the napping toddlers were at home with Arlene. When she greeted him at the door she was stunned and somewhat perturbed,
"My gosh, you cut all your hair off! And it's curly!"
He brushed a hand over his short locks and gave her a rueful smile,
"Yeah, it was a day or two before I got used to it again. I'd look in a mirror and do a double-take but now it feels right. It was always curly, I just blew it out straight when it was long."
They sat down in the large foyer.
Arlene had been frowning but then seemed to relax again as she came to some inner conclusion and shrugged,
"Oh, well. It will take a while, but you can grow it out eventually."
"Why would I want to do that?"
She teased,
"You know! So you'll look like yourself again, silly."
"I can't have long hair as a detective. Anyway, I've had short hair all my life--I did athletics a lot in school and it was easier--and the long hair was only for my work. This IS me, angel."
"I've been thinking about that...is there any reason you can't go back to being undercover?" she asked slyly and then pointed out, "I wouldn't mind living with you downtown. And I could help with your work!"
He was incredulous.
"Arlene, I thought you understood; I don't want to go back to it. I can't live the rest of my life like that. Do you think I actually liked hanging around Crystal Creek and pretending to be a loser all the time?"
"I just thought you were kind of a rebel--you seemed like such a 'bad boy'. I really liked it. Don't you miss living life on the edge?"
Except for the night they'd met and that first week when she'd hounded him, Arlene never irritated him. But he was growing annoyed now. She was acting almost obtuse in his opinion and he felt like he was talking to a stranger. The way she looked at him he guessed she felt the same.
"No, I don't miss it. And what's more I'm not going back to it."
Suddenly any thought he'd had of proposing to her evaporated. He had no idea what to do. He didn't want to hurt Arlene. One of the reasons he left undercover work was so he could marry her. But another reason was because he'd begun to feel like Pres Everhart was disappearing for good and Ray Nolan was taking over. Being a delinquent had begun to feel like the norm.
Arlene pouted,
"I would think you'd want to go back to your old job just because I asked you to. Doesn't what I want matter at all?"
It occurred to Pres that Arlene was a little more selfish and shallow than he'd thought. He realized she didn't want him the way he really was--she wanted the 'bad boy'. He was shocked to feel relief flooding through him. He never would have made her happy and he said,
"Evidently what you want matters as much to me as what I want matters to you; not at all. I'm never going to be Ray Nolan, the one you really care for. He doesn't exist anymore, Arlene."
She blinked a couple times and then told him doubtfully,
"I suppose I can try to get used to you like this. I just don't know."
Pres was amazed to feel the sarcasm well up in him as he thought, " Well, hell, honey, don't get your knickers in a twist or anything." She made it sound like he was a defect to be endured. He shook his head and said gently,
"You know, Arlene, suddenly I don't think we're gonna make it. I thought you wanted me, but you really want someone else and I have no intention of pretending to be Ray Nolan again."
She didn't really argue about his statement that she wanted Ray and not him. After a couple of seconds she ventured,
"So, it's goodbye?"
"I think it's best. Don't you?" he answered.
"I guess so; if you're going to get all stuffy and traditional on me and don't care a thing about what I want," she replied pulling a sulky expression, "I'm certainly glad to find out in time that you're so selfish."
He didn't even know what to say to that. He was selfish? He did have to admit that they had both been blind and neither of them had really known the other at all. If she'd been paying attention he had been revealing bits of the real Pres all along. And if he'd been alert he would have seen that she was a pretty shallow and spoiled girl all along. He remembered that after the first week they'd met, when they'd been clashing it was pretty much because she'd been trying to control him. To manage him. Once he'd given in and they'd begun dating he pretty much did everything her way so there was no longer any reason to snipe and complain to him about anything. Evidently their relationship had been quite surface and he, for one, had not recognized that. Now she had a peevish, petulant quality to her voice and manner that struck him as unattractive and quite irritating. He used to talk about her "brat factor" to Perry when he first met her, and it had given him a laugh actually. He'd seen it occasionally peep out, but now it seemed to have taken her over.
Nothing was turning out as he had expected. Nothing.
"I'm sorry you've been disappointed, angel. And I hope you find the happiness you're looking for. Can we say goodbye under good terms?"
She put on her cheerleader face as she walked him out the front door,
"Of course. Thanks for all the fun we had. I'm sure we'll see each other again."
He hugged her--a chunk of his life was over and gone--but he considered that he had just made a fortunate discovery and lived to escape.
Arlene really didn't look or act all that upset so he let a little of the guilt roll off his shoulders. But it was hard to tell--did she not feel anything or was she covering up her true feelings? When he looked back once as he was getting in his car he discovered she had indeed been hiding her feelings; now her expression showed her to be both heartily disgruntled and even derisive. It was plain she didn't like the real Pres Everhart one bit and she was infuriated that she wasn't going to get her way; that she had not convinced him to be Ray Nolan again to make her happy. But that was all.
Now there
was still the question of Sofia's whereabouts. If he was a good
detective at all, he ought to be able to find her--right?
